It’s all about Oscar
Obviously it’s impossible to hype the F2 finale up as much as the F1, but I will try… With just one round left to go, Oscar Piastri was a mere 51.5 points ahead of his competitors…. forget it. F1 had controversy, drama and a bitter title fight. F2 did not and it was a wonderful place to enjoy racing, except for Enzo Fittipaldi, who unfortunately was still recovering from last week’s crash and being subbed for by Richard Verschoor and his upbeat approach to life.
Practice: Fast Oscar
Practice was the usual mix of track limits warnings and things looking a bit wobbly, but unusually no spinning or crashing. In fact everyone stayed on track for the whole 45 minutes (except when they were cutting corners). Might be an F2 first. Well done everyone.
Christian Lundgaard and Oscar Piastri were looking fastest for most of the session, until newbie and F3 runner-up Jack Doohan went flying to the top of the times. Piastri wasn’t having any of that and went even faster, also barging past Doohan on track in a totally undramatic bit of action. Practice ended with Piastri fastest, Doohan second and Lundgaard third. Mathematical championship contenders Shwartzman and Zhou were only 9th and 11th.
Qualifying: “I want to go with Oscar”
Qualifying can really best be summed up by Lundgaard, “What the fuck are the guys in the front doing? Why are they driving so slow and why are the guys behind pushing so hard?” and “just send me out with Oscar… Oscar Piastri!…Just do as I say and send me out with Oscar!” Not a bad plan, given that Oscar was very fast and looking good for pole position.
With two minutes to go, Piastri was still on provisional pole, until Zhou and Doohan stole the top spot. Piastri set out to do another even faster lap, but Robert “I want to win everything there is, starting with qualifying” Shwartzman was doing the same. However, with one minute to go, the best Shwartzman could manage was second, while teammate Piastri took back pole for the fifth time in a row; a Leclerc-esque stat. Also probably celebrating was Doohan, getting second place in only his second F2 race. Less happy were third-placed Zhou, whose championship hopes were definitely over now, as he failed to get the four points he needed to keep in the game, and fourth-placed Shwartzman who failed in his goal to win qualifying.
Sprint Race 1: Championship Oscar
Jehan Daruvala had qualified in tenth, meaning he started the first Sprint Race on pole. Dan Ticktum was second and Felipe Drugovich third. Daruvala and Drugovich both said they wanted to win the race, while Ticktum was just trying to get the best start he could, which sadly for him wasn’t very good at all, as he dropped down to fourth place behind Liam Lawson. Ticktum tried to fight back but couldn’t make it, much like Drugovich who was trying desperately hard to pass Daruvala for the lead, but also failed.
Back in the title-rivals group, Shwartzman really needed to get to the top three (with Piastri nowhere near him) to keep his title chances alive, but annoyingly for Shwartzman he was only fifth, while Piastri had made a great start climbing from tenth to just behind Shwartzman in sixth. Not one for giving up though, Shwartzman pressured Ticktum ahead until he eventually got past, Piastri following just behind. Ticktum tried to fight back in a scary moment between him and Piastri, but to no avail. Shwartzman and Piastri continued to trade fastest laps, as Shwartzman carried on his mission to get the points he desperately needed and Piastri tried to stop him. By now, the only person between Shwartzman and his much-needed podium position was Lawson. Shwartzman got a whole second of relief as he passed Lawson and enjoyed the luxury of having a one-car buffer between him and Piastri, until Piastri also went flying by Lawson for fourth.
Up front, Drugovich hadn’t given up on the lead of the race and was battling hard with Daruvala. Drugovich went for a dive, Daruvala defended. They went side-by-side, corner after corner, yet somehow Daruvala managed to hold onto his lead. All this fighting slowed them down and meant that Shwartzman and Piastri were soon right up behind them; the top four all within two seconds of each other, as Drugovich’s engineer sent reassuring radio messages to his driver.
There was obviously also drama happening further down the field (it’s F2 after all), as F2 newbie Olli Caldwell seemed to have hit super-sub Jake Hughes (who was replacing Logan Sargeant), as evidenced by Hughes complaining “Caldwell hit me” and Caldwell heading to the pits for a new front wing. Meanwhile, Bent Viscaal definitely hit bad-luck magnet Christian Lundgaard, as the stewards handed him a five-second penalty post race.
Back at the front and it was now Drugovich’s turn to be under attack by an eager Shwartzman, but Piastri was more eager and jumped past his title-rival teammate. Shwartzman fought back, nudging ahead of Piastri once more, but Piastri pushed ahead and Shwartzman locked up, apparently totally fucking up his tyres. Shwartzman dropped back, despite being told to “push, push” by his team, and Piastri was soon up behind Drugovich, although it probably wasn’t worth fighting him over second place, so they finished as they were. Daruvala in first place, Drugovich second and all of that overlooked as third-placed Piastri was now the 2021 F2 Champion. His third title in a row and ticket to F1… right? No? Oh.
Piastri said he was “super happy”, “so happy” and “very very very happy” before explaining his goals for the next season, “hope I can be champion of sitting on the couch next year because that’s all I’ll be driving.” #RoadToF1.
Sprint Race 2: Not giving a f**k Oscar
Marcus Armstrong was the fortunate tenth-place finisher of Sprint Race 1, meaning he started from pole position in Sprint Race 2, Ralph Boschung was second and Zhou third. The top three were full of positivity, with Zhou saying “we’ll see how it goes”, Boschung explaining that he didn’t think he had the pace to win and Armstrong saying “we’ll give it what we’ve got”. Great.
Giving it all he’d got, Armstrong kept the lead, with Boschung and Zhou keeping their places too. Behind them Piastri (who started tenth) was causing chaos and it was four wide, then three-wide and impossible to see what was even going on. “What the fuck is Oscar doing!?” asked Lawson and the rest of us watching.
Ignoring all that, Zhou soon managed to pass Boschung for second place, while Shwartzman passed Ticktum for fourth, making the top five Armstrong, Zhou, Boschung, Shwartzman and Ticktum. Everyone then got a bit of break from Piastri’s chaos as a Safety Car was called for some Deledda-crashing-into-Caldwell chaos. It wasn’t over for Piastri though, as he was promptly handed a five-second penalty for forcing Lawson off track.
Following the Safety Car restart, Armstrong began to pull out a bit of a gap, still leading the field, while a little further back, Piastri managed to overtake both Roy Nissany and Jüri Vips at the same time as they battled with each other. Nissany then tried to come back at Piastri, but there was contact, which then lead to Piastri hitting Vips. Piastri and Vips were both out of the race, with Vips raging, “he should not have a racing license this guy!” Presumably about Nissany rather than new F2 champion and future Alpine F1 reserve driver Piastri. The Safety Car was called.
Drama struck as the race restarted, with leader Armstrong suddenly slowing. His car was broken, as were the hearts of the Armstrong Army. A Virtual Safety Car was called.
On the restart, Shwartzman managed to get the jump on Boschung to take second place, while Zhou was now de facto race leader, following Armstrong’s demise. Further back, Doohan and Lawson were arguing over seventh place when Nissany decided to get involved, making the same move he had attempted on Piastri previously, which luckily for everyone ended better, although Lawson did manage to get the place back, leaving Lawson ahead of Nissany and Doohan behind. Somehow, only a few laps later, Nissany found himself fighting with Viscaal over 9th position, a process which involved Nissany getting a damaged front wing and a puncture for the Master of Misery Lundgaard. “The idiot broke my front wheel,” Lundgaard complained.
Several laps later and Nissany finally pitted to fix his front wing after getting “shown” the black and orange flag, aka Race Control telling his team to sort it out. By this time, Zhou had also broken free from Shwartzman and cruised home to win the race, with Shwartzman second and Boschung third. Ticktum and Drugovich went for a drag race to the finish line, with Ticktum just holding onto fourth place.
Feature Race: Grand Finale Oscar
Pole-position-person Piastri’s race started with the excitement of getting hit on his way out of the pits by Guilherme Samaia and being given a new front wing on the grid. It apparently wasn’t too big a deal and he could still start the race with no problem. Lucky. Second-place Doohan was starting on the alternative tyre strategy. Exciting. Third-place was Zhou. Standard.
Piastri’s race start was much better than his leaving the pits experience and he pulled away from the battling Doohan and Zhou. Behind them everyone was fighting each other and Duke of Depression Lundgaard was once more spinning, having been hit by Vips (who got a five-second penalty for his adventures). Doohan and Zhou soon also joined in the chaos, as the pressure seemed to get to Doohan and he was in the wall, “I’m so sorry,” he declared to his team, while Zhou desperately called to his, “It’s not my fault!” Meanwhile the Race Director was calling the Safety Car.
Once racing had resumed, it wasn’t long before the first cars started doing their mandatory pitstops. Luckily no one seemed to have forgotten how to do pitstops even though it had been so fucking long since anyone had to do one. Third-place Shwartzman was the first of the top three to pit, with Zhou and Piastri following suit one lap later, leaving alternative strategy runners Pourchaire and Drugovich at the front of the field. Drugovich clearly wasn’t content with his newfound second place and proceeded to attack Pourchaire. Pourchaire defended hard and then they both seemed to realise that they couldn’t keep fighting each other as it was slowing them down too much and they needed to pull out a pitstop-sized gap between themselves and Piastri if they wanted to stay in the lead. Either that or Drugovich just couldn’t keep up with Pourchaire anymore, as Pourchaire pulled out a one-second gap and the two kept pushing on, trying to make their alternative strategy work.
The next drama to threaten Pourchaire and Drugovich’s hopes of stealing a win was caused by a bollard. Yes, a bollard. The displaced bollard began its journey on some run off area, before rolling casually across the track and settling itself in the very centre of things. There, the bollard remained for a painful amount of time. The TV director zoomed in, waiting for something to happen. It didn’t. They continued to race. Surely a Safety Car was needed? Were Pourchaire, Drugovich and the other alternative strategy runners all about to lose their advantage over those who had already pitted? Surely it would be too soon for them to take a quick pitstop, the softer tyres would never last until the end of the race? Time ticked on, until suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a brave high-vis clad rescuer of bollards sprinted to the middle of the track, saving the bollard and the hopes of Pourchaire and Drugovich.
Pourchaire and Drugovich continued to fly, while Piastri, Zhou and Shwartzman did the same. With less than 30 seconds needed for a pit stop, Pourchaire was 27 seconds ahead of Zhou. It was all very tense. As Piastri’s tyres finally got into the window, he was now going faster than Pourchaire, and Pourchaire pitted to put on a new set of super fast tyres; he came out of the pits behind Shwartzman. Drugovich pitted on the next lap, and we were now left with a four lap showdown to see if Pourchaire and Drugovich could catch and overtake top three Piastri, Zhou and Shwartzman.
As Shwartzman cried, “my rears are gone!” Pourchaire and Drugovich could smell blood and were on the hunt. Drugovich, though, was still more concerned about Pourchaire and they continued their battle for dominance. They fought side-by-side, giving a relieved Shwartzman a chance to get away. However, their battle was called to a halt mid-way though, just as Drugovich had pulled ahead slightly, as the VSC was called for a stricken Lawson, parked at the side of the track.
The VSC was quickly called to an end and Drugovich now had his sights on Shwartzman. It wasn’t long until he had powered past on his new tyres, to take third place. Pourchaire thought about doing the same, backing off for a moment, before taking advantage of the second DRS zone. Shwartzman was down from third to fifth in just a few corners. Up front and on the last lap, Piastri and Zhou were by now looking pretty safe from the charging Drugovich/Pourchaire combo, leaving Piastri to win his fourth Feature Race in a row and end his F2 career on an even higher high than just winning the championship. Zhou was second and Drugovich third, making for a very happy podium. With no better way to sum things up than Piastri: “and that, my friends, is how you finish up a championship!” I’ll leave it at that.
Oscar Oscar Oscar
Piastri won, Zhou didn’t, but he didn’t care because he has an F1 seat for next year, and Shwartzman was probably not too depressed because he had an F1 test in a Ferrari happening in a couple of days.
[Alternatively, insert a long and well-researched paragraph about how amazing Piastri is, how epic all of his winning stats are and how much is wrong structurally with the F1 and the junior categories that someone so great is sat on the reserve bench for next year].
Also, F2 is back to a proper format next year without centuries between races. Yay!