Mate, it’s Monza
The F2 drama rollercoaster was rolling even before the weekend begun, with Franco Colapinto the latest driver to be plucked out of F2 by the big F1 hand of the racing gods. Colapinto was to replace Logan Sargeant who displeased the big F1 hands of the racing gods (I guess this is how I have to refer to James Vowles from now on?) and was therefore out. Poor Logan. Probably feeling equally miserable was Colapinto’s fellow Williams Driver Academy member Zak O’Sullivan who remains firmly not an F1 driver. Meanwhile, the whole of Argentina rejoiced.
Colapinto wasn’t the only one leaving the F2 family (did no one tell them they can’t leave!?), as Taylor Barnard announced that the slightly smaller Formula E hand of the racing gods had called for him (I really shouldn’t have started this analogy…) and he was off to race for McLaren FE team. Whatever. Who cares about these old drivers because we get new drivers now, with F3’s Oliver Goethe replacing Colapinto and Indy NXT’s Niels Koolen (yes, I am just going to pretend I have heard of him before) replacing Barnard. With that business sorted, the proper F2 stuff could get underway.
Practice: Mate, it’s hot
It was HOT. Or so everyone kept saying. Like we get it. No need to keep rubbing it in that you’re there and we’re not. I’m not bitter.
Practice mostly consisted of drivers locking up and driving down escape roads and through gravel traps. Although Roman Staněk wished he was so lucky, as he sat in the pits while engineers swarmed about with laptops.
Also stuck were Goethe, Kimi Antonelli and Gabriel Bortoleto, as Goethe stalled at the end of the pit lane while doing a practice start, and the others all just got themselves wedged in behind him. Time to roll out the good old fashioned starty sticks to get them all going again.
After all that, Staněk did make it onto the track, only to break down two minutes before the end of the session. His stricken car resulted in a red flag that prematurely brought everything to an end. Some drivers, however, had managed to do full laps and Zane Maloney was the fastest, Bortoleto second and O’Sullivan third.
Qualifying: Mate’s a hero
After a random two-minute delay to the start of qualifying Staněk was out on track, presumably to make sure his car actually worked, which it seemed to, although Isack Hadjar wasn’t happy about it as he accused Staněk of getting in his way. “What a hero!” Hadjar declared.
After ten minutes of no one wanting to go first, Paul Aron finally decided to get qualifying properly started. At the same time, Victor Martins took an excursion through the gravel and through some advertising hoardings, resulting in a track covered in debris and a red flag.
After a short pause, they all tried again to do some actual qualifying, with the emphasis on “try” for Bortoleto, who spun on the grass and stranded himself in the gravel. His qualifying session was over, meaning he’d be starting both races from the back of the grid. Happy times for him and his championship battle. Even happier times for Hadjar and his championship battle. By this time only 12 minutes remained of the session and half the field hadn’t even set a proper lap time. This jeopardy was further heightened by the fact that the clock continued to count down, despite the red flag, as important things were apparently planned for later on and there could be no delay. Cue marshalls frantically scrambling about to get everything done as quickly as possible.
Once the cars had been cleared, there were only seven and a half minutes left of Qualifying. Everyone went straight out of the pits to battle the clock and the desert-levels of gravel that had been left strewn across the track. There was a flurry of provisional pole positions, first Joshua Duerksen, then Hadjar, then Dennis Hauger. It was Maloney, however, who managed to keep the pole crown, with Hadjar having to settle for second and Aron taking third.
Sprint Race: “Mate, something’s wrong with my brakes and I’m on ice, mate”
The big news for Saturday was not, surprisingly, Enzo Fittipaldi starting the Sprint Race from reverse-gird pole, but that the big F1 hand of the racing gods (not again, sorry) was swooping in for Kimi Antonelli, who Mercedes announced would be a full-time grown-up Formula 1 driver in 2025. There was no time for F1 glamour however as Antonelli had a long walk to somewhere near the back of the grid, from where he was starting the race, as he had two penalties to enjoy due to a series of previous offences.
Fittipaldi said he expected the race to be “interesting” and “fun”, which are definitely not words that racing drivers use to mean “chaotic” and “hard”. Amaury Cordeel was starting from second and Pepe Martí third, not that any of that mattered as all eyes at the start of the race were focussed on the massive crash at the back, with O’Sullivan and Goethe bashing into each other and Antonelli somehow also involved. “What the fuck!?” was shouted and the Safety Car was deployed, while marshalls cleared away Goethe and O’Sullivan, and Antonelli trundled round to the pits with a broken wing and puncture.
Meanwhile, Fittipaldi’s race start had apparently lived up to his prediction of “interesting” but maybe less “fun” for him as he had made a mistake, allowing Martí to take the lead. Cordeel had also had a bad start, dropping all the way to fourth behind Martins.
As the Safety Car ended, Fittipaldi was determined to make up for his earlier mistake and immediately dove past Martí to retake the lead. This lasted as far as turn one, where Fittipaldi locked up this wheels and ploughed down the the escape road, enabling Martí to reclaim the lead. “Mate, something is wrong with my brakes!” Fittipaldi declared to his team. Interesting and fun.
Also taking advantage of Fittipaldi’s errors were Martins and Bearman, who were now up to second and third (with Bearman, who started eighth, having been on an overtaking spree at the start of the race). Bearman, however, wasn’t content with moving up only one place and so also passed Martins for second. It then took only a couple of laps before he caught Martí and lunged to take first place. This move resulted in Martí doing a Fittipaldi, escaping down the escape road and Bearman took the lead of the race. Just as had been Fittipaldi’s punishment, Martí was also overtaken by Martins, leaving Martí suddenly down in third place just ahead of Fittipaldi.
The middle of the race was just everyone physically barging into each other and lots of car bits flying off, with Martins and Martí being no different. Eventually, after Martí failed to regain his place from Martins, Fittipaldi made a comeback, passing Martí for third, before Duerksen was suddenly also passing Martí. “I’m on fucking ice mate” complained Martí. The flying Duerksen was soon in a battle with Fittipaldi over third. Fittipaldi put up a good fight, but was quickly off track once more and Duerksen was through.
The late stage of the race was just everyone physically barging into each other and complaining, including Martí and Fittipaldi resuming their fight, Aron damaging his front wing by crashing into Maloney and some random car that may or may not have been Rafael Villagómez rallying through the gravel trap.
All of this action was great news for Bearman who let everyone fight behind him as he crossed the line to win the race, with Martins second and Duerksen third. Also crossing the line, but at the EXACT same time as each other, were Hauger and Bortoleto. After much “oh this is unprecedented” chat from officials (I presume), they decided that there was nothing else to do but to split the point they would have earned for eighth place, giving them both half a point each and messing up all points graphics for the rest of the season.
Feature Race: “Mate, I’m driving in bumper cars”
Maloney, Hadjar and Aron started the race from the front, while Richard Verschoor was forced to start from the back after stalling on the formation lap.
The start was action packed, with Aron getting away well until Martí (who started seventh) locked up and went all skittles with everyone ahead of him. Only Maloney survived, hurrying on up the road as cars scattered everywhere behind him. Aron was out, Hauger had the classic combo of a damaged front wing and a puncture and Martí had a ten-second penalty for causing a collision, because this was all apparently just too much even for the stewards and their “ahh it’s fine, shit happens on the first lap” philosophy.

The Safety Car was out, with Maloney still in the lead, but now with Bearman and Antonelli (who had started sixth and eighth respectively) behind him in second and third, having avoided Martí’s antics.
As the race resumed, Bearman wasted no time trying to get past Maloney, but to no avail. Behind them, Duerksen was having more success, as he soon flew by Antonelli for third. As Duerksen came flying towards Bearman, Prema decided it was a good idea to kick off the pit stops and Bearman dived into the pit lane for his mandatory tyre change. Most of the others followed suit a lap later, although they probably wish they had waited for the incoming Safety Car courtesy of Hauger, who was stopped on the grass. “I got taken out!” he complained as perpetrator Ritomo Miyata drove away from the scene, although not without a ten-second penalty for causing a collision. For the lucky few that hadn’t yet pitted, the Safety Car gave an opportunity to pit without losing as much time as the others. Bortoleto and Verschoor took full advantage, exiting the pits ahead of Maloney and taking the lead of the race.
Further back, after the Safety Car had returned to the pits, Duerksen managed to pick up where he left off, batting Bearman, with Antonelli joining in too, just to make things extra stressful for the Prema team. Duerksen tried an overtake and failed, while Antonelli went off track, and Bearman got into some drama with Martins and Juan Manuel Correa. “Mate, I’m driving in bumper cars,” was Bearman’s assessment of the situation. While Correa headed to the pits to retire and, completely unrelated, Cordeel got a puncture.
While the mid-field drama unfolded, it was easy to miss that out front it was Bortoleto who was crossing the line to win the race, having qualified dead last. Maloney was second having managed to overtake Verschoor who finished third.
Standings: Mate, it’s getting exciting!
With championship leader Hadjar (165 points) being tantalisingly close but not actually scoring any points this weekend (finishing 10th in the Sprint Race and 11th in the Feature Race), Bortoleto has edged closer to the championship lead (154.5 points). Aron’s bad luck and Maloney’s less bad luck mean that Maloney (135 points) has overtaken Aron (124 points) for third place in the standings. Jak Crawford is still in fifth (105 points), despite no one even acknowledging his existence in Monza. Roll on Baku.